Wednesday, September 28, 2011

SIA 2.0: Day 5 a.k.a On Why I Don't Care for Zooey Deschanel

Good afternoon lovelies!  So much to share with you today!  First of all, I decided to start a Twitter account for the blog so that I can share with you my random thoughts on politics, pop culture, moneyz, et cetera, et cetera, that pop up between posts.  My handle is @ericasbailout.  Check it out!  For those of you who are twitter-illiterate, there is now a feed on the sidebar of the blog that will track my latest Tweets, so keep checking back and upping my pageviewz.

Second of all, I have two money saving tips for you today!  One is legitimate, and one is not so legitimate.  Let's start with the legitimate one.  Last night, as is my tradition, I gathered with several persons whose identities will remain hidden, to watch Glee.  As you all may remember last week a did a pro/con breakdown of the premiere episode, and my feelings have not changed, suffice it to say that I think Will Schuester gets creepier with every episode.  Also, if we could get as much slow motion Mike Chang as possible this season, I'd appreciate it, kkFoxthanks...Also, I have thoughts about Zooey Deschanel, whose show "New Girl" airs right after Glee...but we'll get to that later.

Anyhoo, on to the money saver.  Before we watched the show, we all grabbed dinner in the Bloomingdale neighborhood.  Now, if you're unfamiliar with DC, let me explain Bloomingdale to you thusly: it is a pocket of young white people, surrounded by a war zone, surrounded by the rest of the city.  So basically, like, imagine if Maroon 5 had a concert in the middle of Detroit, that concert would be Bloomingdale.  

The point of this is to say, if you want to take your life into your hands and go into Bloomingdale, do I have a place for you, Rustik!  Between four of us, we got three pizzas, a couple of drinks (don't worry, I adhered to SIA 2.0 and didn't have any), and FREE popcorn and we all paid between $10 and $15 by ordering the pizzas during happy hour.  What's more, the pizzas were AMAZING...maybe good enough for me to go into Bloomingdale more often.  But let's not get too crazy.  Also, across the street from Rustik is a crazy liquor store.  This place has EVERYTHING: Mad Dog 20/20, Verdi, FourLoko, even like seven flavors of Pinnacle (including chocolate strawberry) for when you're feeling classy.

On to the second tip which involves how to squeeze survival needs out of your job.  If your office is like mine, you are both overworked and underpaid...and you probably can't ever take a lunch break.  But not because your boss says "don't take a lunch break" but he says something tricky like, "You're certainly entitled to one, but noone around here really takes them." Read: Judge judge judge judgey judge judgerson.  However, I figured out this week how to recoup your losses a bit in this field.  Organizing office meetings! 

I know what you're thinking, no one likes organizing meetings, it's intern work.  But trust me on this, whenever possible, volunteer to help with meetings.  More often than not, you'll need to arrange catering for the meeting and your boss could probably not give a good God damn what you order.  So, take the reigns, order what you like and order a lot of it (within reason).  This way, when no one at the meeting eats the food because they don't want to appear weak and fat in front of their reap the rewards of the leftovers!  Ka-ching!

Okay, so, let's get back to Zooey Deschanel, and my problems therein.  I read an entry today on Thought Catalog asking why people are so obsessed with Ryan Gosling.  I wonder the same thing (not about Gosling of course, I mean, c'mon...just look at the guy, he broke up a street fight for goodness sake) but about Zooey Deschanel, I just don't get it. You see, readers I watch "New Girl" it's kind of hilarious, but this causes an internal struggle with me because I do not care for Zooey Deschanel.  You may ask yourselves why this is, after all Zooey Deschanel is a cute enough girl, she doesn't suck as an actress, in fact she's quite funny.  I however, would argue, that she peaked in "Elf".  The long and short of it is this: I think Zooey Deschanel is trying too hard.  Have you noticed for example that she can't seem to wear a dress that in some way does not appear vintage?  Everyone wears sweatpants or a jersey dress now and again Zooey!  Also, did you know that she's married to the lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie?  Yea, that's a fact...I can't imagine anything that could scream "Look at me! I'm so indie! Forget about that time I was in Failure to Launch!" more than that.  

But perhaps, my biggest problem with Zooey Deschanel is the fact that she insists on singing in  Singing in the shower in "Elf", karaoke in "500 Days of Summer", the theme music in her Cotton commercial and now she even sings the theme song for her new show!  We get it!  You have a band, it's called She and Him and it sounds like The Weepies or the music they'd play at the hospital if they needed to knock you out and they ran out of anesthesia.  Stop hitting us over the head with it!  Lest we not forget, you were in "Yes Man" not too long're not doing yourself any favors with movie choices like that.

What I'm saying is, Zooey, pump the brakes on the hispter/indie stuff okay?  I promise people will still like you...because...I guess you're pretty funny.  In the words of my biffle Bedilia, love you for you Zooey.  Listen to a Taylor Swift album once in awhile, eat at a chain restaurant, and for the love of Ray-J get some clothes that were made after 1975, okay?  We'll get through this.

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