Today loyal admirers, I am faced with an existential quandary. I've chosen to name it thusly, in the style of one of my most beloved Lifetime movies, "Spending Ice Age: One Broke Girl In a Big World-Not Without My Spanx; The Erica Story #IsItSelfish?"
Yea, ho-kay, here's what that boils down to; lately I've been contemplating if the whole idea of the SIA is selfish. When I first proposed the idea, a couple of my friends were skeptical. "No movies?" they said, "No dinners?", they continued..."No way!" they concluded. Not only did my wonderful friends think this task was out of my reach, but they got a little concerned about how it might affect them.
You see, my fantastic, gorgeous (I'm assuming) readers, I have what I often refer to as the "SAD", but is more commonly known as "Social Anxiety Disorder". This is not just my own assessment, but in fact several reputable doctors have made this diagnosis and prescribed me meds to "keep the crazy in check" as I like to say. As a result, I am the kind of friend who is willing to go anywhere and do anything because I fear if I don't, I'll be iced out of the group. Also I do these things because I really enjoy them, but sometimes...that's not so much the case. Here's how I'd react in the following hypothetical, for instance:
Friend: "Hey, Do you want to go eat hot molten lava and then run around barefoot in a crack house for awhile?"
Me: "Is everyone going?"
Friend: "Yea, so far it's Scooby, P-dawg, Chinese Elvis, and John, you in?"
Me: (in my head I say, "I hate those people," and then...) "Yea, I'm down, sounds good."
Friend: "Cool, I'll pick you up in my El Camino circa 9."
So, my friends were worried that I would no longer go with them to do crazy shiznit as a result of the spending freeze. That is kind of true, I have sort of cut myself off from all possible social interaction as a result of this venture. Is that unfair to my peers who so desperately desire my presence at all times?
Also, I'm kind of beginning to wonder if this whole arrangement is unfair to me, and setting some bad habits. I'm worried once the spending freeze is over, instead of having learned how to save more and spend less, I will be so deprived of movies and my favorite restaurants and being able to drink in bars and not actually just stand there ordering soda water all night, that I'll go completely off the chain and buy the entire city of DC. This occurred to me after realizing that I have been craving buffalo wings for the past 72 hours in anticipation of yesterday's game. Turns out, I didn't end up going to football, so I didn't have to decide whether or not to spend money there...but I did still dream about wings last night.
Furthermore, while my Lean Cuisine lunch today was wholly satisfying (eye roll), I found myself craving a chicken salad sandwich from my local lovely Asian deli. Isn't that unfair to them? That I'm not buying? IT'S A RECESSION, I NEED TO STIMULATE THE THE ECONOMY!
So what do you think, readers? Time to reformulate? Maybe I only spend money towards social things? Is that quitting? Cheating? Please help me, I can't make my own decisions!