Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A Slightly Off Topic Post

Good morning fair readers!  I anticipate that this week's entries will be a bit off-the-wall as there is only so much I can say to the effect of "I spent money, I wrote it down."  So buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride...

Yesterday, I spent money on a movie ("Moneyball", look for a review in tomorrow's post), I wrote that down.

Now for something completely different.  Everyone knows that DC is not on par with, say, New York, or Milan, or even Paris (TX, that is) when it comes to fashion.  On the metro to work today, for example, I saw a woman wearing a banana clip in her hair and Teva sandals on her feet.  If you are not a 40+ year old dad with a fanny pack at a Six Flags, you should not be wearing Tevas, plain and simple.  But I get it, we have more important things to do around here than worry what we look like, things like, I don't know, running the country perhaps?  Yea, you can thank us for that while you're choosing between snake or leopard print Louboutins (go with the snake by the way, so cute!). 

The long and short of it is, people prioritize, and in DC fashion is just not a priority.  That is slowly changing however, thanks to blogs like Capitol Hill Style, the emergence of young, high end designer stores like rag & bone and Betsey Johnson in Georgetown, and the ever growing sham that is DC Fashion Week.

Given all these moving pieces, I'm willing to give DC-ites a pass on a lot of fashion-related issues.  But there is one DC fashion faux-pas that I simply cannot tolerate.  The scrunchie:

Just posting that picture here makes me dry heave.  I'm not joking.  If ever someone wants to carryout on me the most nightmarish death I can imagine, it would be being chocked by a thousand of these monstrosities, in different colors and patterns.

What prompted this outrage, you ask?  Well loyal readers, it's just inexcusable.  With so many more fashion friendly hair tie options available in these modern times, there is no reason to wear something that makes you look like Stephanie Tanner circa 1992. 

What's more, is that today on my commute to work, I saw not one but TWO women with scrunchies in their hair.  This is an epidemic, and it's happening right now; scrunchie contagion.

Now, two may seem like a low number to you but dear God, that's like saying two shots to the chest could be worse.

Guy-"Hey man, you look pretty bad, maybe we should get you to a hospital"
Friend-"Nah, it's just two shots to the chest, I'm alright, I could probably handle a few more."

How many more, readers?!  When will the madness end?!

I know that the 90s are currently experiencing a fashion renaissance.  The grunge look is permeating major retailers, and 10 year olds are walking around listening to the Nevermind on their iPod micro-nano-bitlys, you know, like Kurt Cobain intended.  But scrunchies are one trend of the 90s that I cannot in good faith allow to resurface.  That's why today I'm proud to announce the launch of my new public awareness campaign:

The goal of this campaign is simply to stop the scrunchie in its tracks, and have it erradicated from American manes by Christmas 2012.

If you see something, say something.

YOU-"Hey miss, is that a scrunchie in your hair?"
SCRUNCHIE WEARER-"Why yes it is! Thank you for noticing"
Y-"Stop it."
Y-"Stop it."

What can you do to help the cause?  I'm glad you asked readers!  There are two active petitions on the Stop the Scrunchie campaign; one general internet petition, available here: http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/stopthescrunchie/ and a Twitter petition that can be found here: http://act.ly/4cw

Act now! In solidarity y'all.

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